


What is a Legacy?

by GinnyK



Series: The World Turned Upside Down [9]
Category: Bull (TV 2016)
Genre: post ep season 3 episode 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 18:23:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16455035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinnyK/pseuds/GinnyK
Summary: After Dr. Harper's trial is over Marissa has a chat with Alex.  She shares some details about her past and the unconventional relationship she has with Dr. Bull.





	What is a Legacy?

 

“Bull, you’re supposed to meet Chunk downstairs in one minute,” Alex yelled towards the open door of his boss’s office.

No answer.

“JASON!!”

No answer.

Alex was about to use the phone, which was not the preferred method of communication of his boss, when he looked over his shoulder, finding the reason he wasn’t getting an answer. Bull was sitting in his chair facing the window.  He was reading something on his laptop which was balanced on his knees but he also had earbuds in.  And the earbuds were connected to the computer, not his phone, which also explained why Alex’s two recent texts had gone ignored.

With a grin the young man grabbed the stress ball out of his top drawer, opened Bull’s door and with skill that came from being the starting pitcher on his high baseball team, beaned his boss in the back of his head.

“Nice throw,” Bull muttered as he pulled the earbuds out and turned his chair around in one smooth motion.  He set the computer on his desk and tossed the ball back to Alex.

“You’re late,” Alex glared as he pointed to his watch.

“Damn,” Bull muttered as he stood up, threw on his jacket and grabbed his cell.  “Why didn’t you text?” he asked as he crossed his office.   His comment earned the usual reaction from Alex, raised eyebrows and a snort.  Bull checked his cell and got his answer.  “Sorry, I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Don’t forget to eat lunch,” Alex said with a grin as he sat back down at his desk to finish a few things before he got himself something to eat. 

*******

Alex wandered into the kitchen about an hour after Bull had gone to meet Chunk.  As it was a rather slow day at TAC most people who normally ate at their desks while working had taken the opportunity to go out for a relaxing meal. 

Marissa was alone, sitting at the counter with a salad, a bottle of water and her laptop.

“Hey,” Alex said softly as she looked deeply engrossed at whatever was on the screen.

“Hey yourself.  Didn’t join everyone in their mass departure for lunch?” Marissa asked.

“No, had a few things I wanted to finish.  And I was actually enjoying the peace and quiet.”

“Oh I hear you about the quiet.  It’s quite refreshing,” Marissa agreed as she moved the computer over a few inches.

“I’m just going to grab some food and I’ll be out of your way,” Alex said as he opened the fridge.

“I wasn’t asking you to leave,” Marissa said with a smile.  “Sit, I haven’t seen much of you lately.”

“Okay,” Alex answered as he grabbed a sandwich, a bag of chips and a can of Dr. Pepper.  “Working during lunch?” he asked, pointing towards her laptop.  Marissa just shook her head as she turned her laptop just enough so Alex could see the 23andMe homepage.

“Have you done it?” Marissa asked.  Alex just shook his head.  “I keep going back and forth.  Obviously our last case got a lot of us thinking about our history, our lineage.”

“Yeah.  A few of my uncles on my Dad’s side are really into genealogy.  Dad’s side of the family is huge.  Andy and I have over 25 first cousins.  What about you?” Alex asked, thinking it was an innocent question.

“Uh, well, actually I’m adopted,” Marissa said softly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Alex said, mentally kicking himself.

“Nothing to be sorry about.  I know nothing about my birth parents.  And most days I’m okay with that. My adopted parents gave me a wonderful life but sometimes I wonder.  And with Dr. Harper’s case, I guess that just has me thinking.”

“That you might have an evil twin out there somewhere?” Alex asked, hoping that teasing was the way to go.  The look on Marissa’s face let him quickly know she appreciated him lightening the mood just a bit.

“No, not too worried about that.  But the whole ending to the trial was pretty unbelievable, wasn’t it?”

“Andy’s had me explain it to him three times already.  And I’m sure I’m not done yet.  He’s bugging me about coming to the office. He has a few days off next month, maybe he can come in one day,” he said as he took a bit of his sandwich.

“We’d love to have him stop by,” Marissa said warmly.

They chatted about their next case for a few minutes while they ate.  Marissa promised to have him spend some time with her in the war room to prep for it.  He had seen jury selection from the courtroom with Bull and Benny but hadn’t seen too much of it from Marissa’s vantage point.

Marissa glanced at the open webpage on her laptop as she picked at her salad.

“Been thinking about a legacy.  Who’s legacy am I?  And at this point in my life, I’m pretty sure kids are not in my future, so who will be my legacy?” Marissa mused aloud.

“A legacy’s not necessarily a person.  There’s this line from Hamilton,” Alex started, taking a beat for Marissa’s inevitable comment.

“Between you and Jason, there’s always a line from Hamilton,” she said with a rather unladylike snort.   “Okay, let’s hear it,” she said, motioning for Alex to continue.

“A legacy is planting seeds in a garden you’ll never get to see.”

“Makes sense,” she agreed.  “As do most of the lines you and Jason quote on a daily basis,” she added under her breath.

“Your lineage is unknown, and progeny probably non-existent. But you certainly have a legacy, look around, this is part of your legacy,” Alex said as he made a sweeping motion around the room. 

Marissa got quiet and looked away, Alex quickly realized he’d just stuck his foot in his mouth.  And he wasn’t sure how he managed to do that.  She got up quickly, managing to catch the stool as she just about knocked it over.  Alex just sat there watching her, not knowing what to say or do.  Marissa took a deep breath and pulled herself together just a bit before turning to face him.

“I’m sorry, I uh…” she whispered as she ran a hand through her hair.  She put the remains of her lunch in the trash and picked up her laptop.  “Give me 5 minutes and meet me in my office.  Bring coffee,” she said as she headed out of the kitchen, leaving Alex more confused than ever.  He threw away his trash and made two cups of coffee while trying to figure out what in the world he said to make Marissa react the way she did.

******

In her office Marissa dropped her laptop on her desk and went to the restroom to pull herself together a little.   She beat Alex to her office by a few minutes. 

“Okay to come in?” he asked from the doorway.

“Of course,” she said with a warm smile.  She took the coffee he offered her and the cookie he had wrapped up in a napkin.  “I’m sorry about before.”

“I am too but I have no idea, uh, why, or what I did,” Alex stumbled a little.

“Sit and I’ll explain everything,” Marissa said as she motioned for him to take a seat on the couch.  Alex sat down, feeling rather uncomfortable, probably for the first time since starting at TAC.  “When Jason hired you, did he say anything about why he was hiring an assistant.  I mean, you do know you didn’t have a predecessor.”

“I know I’m the first assistant he’s had.  He did sort of try to explain things.  I think the explanation was that he needed to get things off your plate.  And that certainly makes sense, you’re way over qualified to fetch coffee and sort his mail,” Alex said as he took a sip of his coffee.

“That’s part of it. You know he had a heart attack.  Well, the day before his heart attack I almost quit TAC,” she admitted with a sigh.

“Really?  Can I ask why?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t have invited you in here if I wasn’t willing to talk.  Let’s back up a little.   This might sound odd and if it makes you feel totally uncomfortable I’ll just drop it,” Marissa started, suddenly thinking maybe she was about to push Alex a little too far.

“Go ahead.  You’re being honest with me, the least I can do is be honest with you,” Alex replied with a smile.

“Okay. So I’m just curious, when you see Bull and I what do you think of our relationship?” she asked, honestly wondering how they looked to someone who basically didn’t know them all that well.

“Okay, without taking much time to formulate an answer, I see two people who are fiercely committed to their work and to each other.  You seem to the best of friends for the most part.  But you butt heads at times.  You clearly adore each other but things do seem a bit, I guess the right term would be one sided,” Alex said, choosing his words carefully but trying his best to be honest as he knew Marissa was looking for honesty.

“One sided how?” Marissa asked as she kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet under her.  She broke the cookie in half, handing a piece to Alex.  He took it with a grateful smile.

“You seem to spend a good deal of time showing him how much you care, even with me taking some of the little things off your plate.  I can also tell that he doesn’t always show his appreciation.  It’s not that his appreciation isn’t there, I’m sure it is. But his lack of outward appreciation hurts you.  I get the feeling that you are trying to take a step back from the co-dependency of your working relationship.  But I’m also pretty sure neither of you are ready to throw in the towel and lose the personal connection you seem to have.”

“Wow,” Marissa said quietly.  “Co-dependency,  wow, that Psychology Department at NYU certainly is something,” she said with a sniffle.  Alex looked around and grabbed the box of tissues off her desk. “Being adopted the thought of being in a co-dependent relationship sounded like Nirvana.  Someone who would spend their whole life trying to make me happy.  When the shoe was on the other foot, it wasn’t nearly as exciting.”

“I guess it wouldn’t be. So I’m guessing I was pretty close about your relationship,” he teased.

“Pretty much spot on.  We are the best of friends.  And at times things are very blurry between our personal and professional lives.  That needs to change and we both know it.  We’re trying but his heart attack sort of threw a wrench in things.  It’s a fine line I’m trying to toe.  And with the two recent difficult cases it’s been harder than usual.”

“Yeah, I can tell it’s pretty much been all professional between the two of you through the Harper case.  And I can also tell neither of you are actually happy at the moment.”

“Not really,” Marissa said as she took a deep breath and swiped at her eyes.  Alex just looked at her, the big unasked question on his lips.  “I know you’re dying to ask,” she teased.

“Ever been more than friends?” Alex asked, suddenly feeling very emboldened.

“More than friends, yeah.  Lovers, no,” Marissa answered simply and honestly.

“I figured.  So you were on the verge of quitting, what changed?  Was it his heart attack?”

“No.  I made the decision to quit as we were just wrapping up a huge case.  One where we practically lived at the office for weeks,” she started as she stood up and paced around the room.  She took a few minutes to fill Alex in on the Miles Elliott case as well as the contents of the letter she’d written to Bull.

“And as the team sat in the War Room going over everything and coming up with our suspect I knew I couldn’t leave.  I remember fidgeting in my seat, hoping to make it to Bull’s office before he saw the letter.  And I did.  Ripped it up and put it in the shredder.  Then 12 hours later he had a heart attack on the steps of the Manhattan Federal Courthouse.   When he was home recovering we did talk, I let him read the letter and we processed it.  Came up with some rules/boundaries/guidelines whatever you’d like to call them.  And for the most part we’ve done really well with them.  Well, I slipped once and he made a big deal about how I slipped first,” she admitted with a small chuckle.

“What did you do?” Alex asked curiously with a smile as he sat sideways on the couch, resting his elbow against the back of the couch so he would prop his head in his hand.

“We set boundaries for uh, I guess the correct term would be “public displays of affection”.  After we talked one night he was sitting in his office and as I went to leave I leaned over and kissed the top of his head.  No big deal, but he enjoyed teasing me about it.” Marissa explained, tearfully smiling at the memory.

“Well I now understand why my comment about your legacy here at TAC had an effect on you.  I’m sorry for that,” Alex said as he fiddled with his ID tag.

“You had no way of knowing.  And now you do and I’m kind of glad to share some of this with someone.  Most people here are well aware of the fact that Bull and I have a rather unconventional relationship.  It garners us more than our fair share of strange looks and eye rolls.”

“I would imagine it does. So how do you feel about your decision to stay at TAC?”

“Well, pardon the pun but “the jury is still out” on that one.  Bull’s continued recovery and his use of bad coping skills over the past few weeks have made me think twice about staying on.  But my love for my work and the difference we make in the lives of our clients keep me here.  And yes, I am certainly not interested in throwing away what Jason and I have on a personal level.  I admit these last few weeks have been difficult.  You know that.  You’ve had some issues with his behavior too.”

“I know you talked to him about his behavior.  And I know it didn’t go all that well as he basically ended up on the floor,” Alex said. 

“Yeah.  At the end of that conversation we decided to stick to business for a while.  And while it’s not ideal and I do miss him, I think it’s what we need right now.  His “behavior” has been better.  I haven’t seen evidence of drinking and he’s been leaving at a decent hour.  I see you feed him every once in a while.  I think he’s trying and right now, that’s really all I can ask for.”

Alex just chuckled a little.

“What’s so funny? Marissa asked.

“I heard you plopped down a bottle of whiskey in front of him during a strategy dinner.”

“Yeah, I’m not proud of that.  But I do admit to it.  To his credit he ignored it,” Marissa said with a smile.

“Yes he did,” Alex smiled back.  He glanced at his watch, realizing he should be getting back to work.  He stood up and wiped the cookie crumbs from his plaid shirt. “Now my suggestion is that you order that 23andme kit.  Learn something about where you come from.  I also suggest you find a hobby or something else that will get TAC off your mind for a few hours a day.”

“I’ll think about the kit and the hobby thing,” Marissa said as she stood up and slipped her shoes on.  Alex was about to walk through the doorway when Marissa’s voice made him turn around. “Alex?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thanks for listening, for understanding and for looking out for both Jason and me.  You have made a huge difference in our lives, more than you will ever know,” Marissa said sincerely.

“You’re welcome,” Alex said softly as he left her office.

Marissa picked up her cell phone and opened her text messages.

 

_MM-You on your way back?_

_JB-Yeah be back in about 20 minutes.  What’s up?_

_MM-I just had a long conversation with Alex that you should know about.  We talked about my aborted attempt at quitting and our relationship in general.  I wanted you to know.  And I’m sorry if it wasn’t my place to talk to him about it._

_JB-you have nothing to apologize for.  You talked to him about “our” relationship, it was as much your right to have that discussion as it would be for me to have it.  How did that conversation even start?_

_MM-We were talking about legacy and lineage and planting seeds in a garden or something like that_

_JB- Hamilton._

_MM-of course, you two and your Hamilton quotes._

_JB-live with it.  Are you okay?  Is poor Alex okay, subjecting anyone to the details of our relationship is not exactly fair to them_

_MM- we are both fine. I can assure you, Alex was not scarred by our chat.  That boy is very, very perceptive by the way.  I don’t think anything I said surprised him in the least ._

_JB-glad we didn’t scare him off.  I’m stopping at Dunkin’ do you want iced tea?_

_MM-would love some.  And by the way, I’m sorry_

_JB-for what?_

_MM-the whiskey_

_JB-that’s okay, I deserved it.  See you in a few minutes._

Marissa smiled as she set her phone down.  She opened up the file for their next case and with a deep breath, moved on to the next task.

**Author's Note:**

> And posted with 3 hours to spare before the next new episode. 
> 
> What can I say, I like to live on the edge.
> 
> As always, title comes from Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda


End file.
